I miss you, my friend.

I miss you. I miss the crazy conversations we've had. I miss us giggling like fools over something silly. I miss your smile. I miss the simple fun we had together. I miss the drives just because. I miss the comfort of your prescence. You still are my friend but life changes. We grow apart.

We make new friends, who are great people, but that little spark isn't there often. The little spark that tells us, this one is my true and good friend. That even though we may fight and fuss, we will always be there, always love each other come hell or high water. The one that we trust completely and know entirely.

We know each other's secrets. We've seen the worst and the best of each other. That's so rare and special.

Maybe it's just harder to trust when you get older. It's harder to push yourself forward and tell someone, "You're cool. Wanna be friends?"

I'm glad you are my friend. I'm glad you accept my own personal brand of crazy and feel free to share your own. I'm sorry I had to move away. I know you understand why it had to be done. I know you know how damaged and broken I would have been if I stayed. And you know exactly how hard it was for me to leave.

No matter where we are, I will always love you. It makes me crazy that all I can offer you is my words. Long distance is always hard on any kind of relationship.

I'm ok. I really truly am. I just wish that when I'm celebrating something or mourning something, that you could be there. You have a room in my heart that will never be filled by anyone else. Every now and then, I have to open it up and look at all the memories we have together.

I love you. I miss you. Now and always.

My Friend the Writer!!!

http://anablaze.blogspot.com/

Cover Design by Suzannah Safi! Isn’t it pretty?

Beth Chase is too busy planning perfect weddings to worry about the lack of action in her own love life. But if she was looking for a man, she wouldn’t be looking at Colin Pratt. Her boss swears that Best Man Colin is a quiet scholar and science fiction writer who couldn’t possibly cause a fuss at his own brother’s wedding. He’s clearly never met the man in question. Snarky, sexy and more than a little inebriated, Colin is the final obstacle between Beth and the last perfect wedding she needs to make partner. Of course, when she helps him into a taxi at the end of the night she has no idea that he’s only just begun to poke holes in her professional exterior. Colin might have the skills to seduce a romance professional, but can he convince her that he’s the best man to share her happy ever after?

Available from Entranced Publishing in Summer 2013!

To keep on top of news about The Best Man and other books from Ana Blaze and for the chance to WIN a $10 E-Gift Card for Amazon.com, make sure to Like Ana Blaze’s Facebook Page.

About Ana:

Ana lives just outside Washington DC with her very supportive husband and three rather demanding cats. She loves the ocean, Indian food, Ikea, and cooking. Ana admits to watching too much television and she swears that someday she’s going to learn how to play the guitar resting on the bookshelf in her office.

 

Blog: http://anablaze.blogspot.com/

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AnaBlazeLove

Twitter:@ana_blaze

 

The Year in Review

It's been a challenging year. It started off in mourning and that definitely flavored the rest of it.

 I finally finally finally stopped messing around with the wrong guy. I'm ashamed that it took so long. I'm ashamed that I kept running back. I deserve better and I'm trying to be open to that idea.

Work was good then bad then ok then "Why am I putting up with this garbage!?" then back to slow and steady okayness.

Home is still peaceful. It's almost time for me to start looking for a new home though and that is something I'm not looking forward to. Times change and so do circumstances. I'll get over it.And on with it.

The car is amazingly still running with only minor repairs. I'm crossing my fingers that it stays good for a while longer. I have vague hopes that it'll make it to 100,000 miles.

I've made some new friends. That's always a good thing and getting easier for me to do.

I didn't touch my craft and paint stuff at all until October. Then I painted four in a night. My creativity has finally started to return. Mostly because I'm not scared of what will come out now. As I said the beginning of the year was bad and sad and mad.

I got to visit with family for christmas and that was good and right. I hadn't seen them in years and I did really miss them all. I saw my grandfather, my only grandparent left, and he is starting to fade. I probably won't get another chance to see him and that has been weighing on my head and my heart.

Now the new year has begun. I'm sure it'll be filled with hope and loss and joy and sadness and laughter and tears. I hope the good outweighs the bad. I hope that I can help make it good. With any luck, it'll end up being the best year of my life.

Again, thank you to those who read my blog. I'm glad you want to know me and what goes on in this noggin. I'm sure there is more lunacy and stories and rants to come.





 

The Rules of Secrets

 

I am bad at keeping secrets. Horrible.

Why?

I try to be as open and honest as I can. I don't think it does any good to hide things away. I'll tell most anyone everything that want to know about me.

After all, I only want to be loved for who I am, not loved for who I pretend to be. 

I have many good qualities as well as some not so great ones. It took me a long time to reach the level of self confidence I have. I came to the conclusion that I'm basically good but always human.

Meanwhile some people in my life are very private. I don't get it. Is it fear of rejection? Is it simply prudent?

Keeping things to yourself all the time can't be healthy.

I can keep a secret if I must. If you need me to this is how you need to tell me.

"Kristen. This is not to be shared. Period."

Implied confidences don't always get through my skull. You MUST tell me to keep my trap shut.

I'm not great at thinking before speaking. As most of you know firsthand.  I speak my mind probably more than I should. Thankfully, my friends and family love me regardless.