Saturday, August 25, 2012

Breast Cancer- My Awareness

I used to know a girl named Julia. She was quick to smile, had expressive eyes, and a clear strong singing voice. When I met her, she already knew she was dying. I was friendly but was scared to really get to know someone just as they were about to go. I was young and foolish. It was profoundly unfair that she got taken so young.

I hadn't thought about Julia for a long time. She got brought up today on Facebook. I started crying immediately.

Sadness for her not being in the world anymore and for my friends who were close to her still missing her. And sheer terror and panic because I know a woman who has just been diagnosed.

I'm scared things will go badly. I'm scared that she will suffer. I'm scared for her family because she is the glue that keeps it all going. I'm scared her faith will weaken. I'm mad that I can't be there because I live in a different state.

Most of all, I'm scared because there isn't a damn thing I can do about any of it.

If you pray, please say one for her and her family.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I am what you are - Thoughts on friendship

If you haven't heard much from me lately, you aren't alone.
 I've been getting a little bogged down in the swamp of my mind. No, I'm not depressed.
 Just been trying to figure out where I'm heading and what company I should keep.

 The people around you, affect you. Some in little ways, some in big. Everything you surround yourself with changes you.

And now I'll even be specific.

Ann Oviatt. When I hang out with Ann, I get a little more sarcastic, a little more thoughtful, and am quick to laugh.

Bob Armstrong. When hanging with my brother, I get a lot sillier, more prone to make really bad jokes, and more quick to give advice. I hardly ever curse.

My ex-boyfriend who shall remain nameless. I feel prettier, I flirt more, I relax a lot more, I'm incredibly more prone to speak my mind.

Moriah Youket. I listen more, I worry a lit more, I tease more, I am more patient.

Enrique Sasoon. I'm more likely to be physically affectionate(hugs and stuff-Get your mind out of the gutter people), I eat takeout more, I talk religion more.

I am myself and happy to be myself with all these people but who I am changes when I'm with them.
I'm sure they change when they are with me. You can't help but carry some of the moods and habits of the people you spend time with. 

It's not  that we want each other to change, although of course sometimes we definitely do, but that we react and adapt instinctively to what we find as attractive qualities in our friends. Unfortunately we pick up some bad habits as well. We drink more with the hardcore drinkers, we smoke more around the smokers, we talk more crap with the gossipers.

If I become someone I don't like around someone else, I should simply not be around them.

I really wonder how I change those around me.