Monday, December 15, 2014


Every person who has suffered with depression more than once learns their own patterns. The things they do to deny the tears, the things they do to lift their spirits.

My depression cycle.
1. I don't want to.
2. All I would do is mess it up anyway.
3. I need to be outside more.
4. Why am I crying at this Brittany Spears song?
5. Make excuse to stay home.
6. Read through the night to keep mind occupied from bad thought spirals.
7. Always tired. Why can't I just rest?
8. I can't concentrate. I keep screwing up stupid easy stuff.
9. I'm worthless.
10. Time for meds.
11. Keep up the pretend happy.
12. You can cry later. After work is over.
13. All I want is a hug.
14. I'm so screwed up, no wonder I'm alone.
15. Stop thinking that way, stop it, stop it, stop it.
16. Can't worry them.
17. Won't say how bad this time is.
18. Noone wants to hear it.
19. No one can fix it.
20. Trudge through it. Meds are kicking in.
21. two more months, just two more months.