Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Tapped out

This morning I had a little meltdown. I was so fed up and irritated I started bawling. Thank goodness, I didn't have work today. Why? Let me explain.

I have friends with problems right now. Serious issues like where is the next paycheck coming from? How can I keep my ex out of my life? How do I get through the day without punching the boss? That kind of thing. Add in illness and car issues and family drama and relationship issues sprinkled liberally throughout.

It's at the point where I feel guilty for my stuff not being so bad right now. Yes of course I still have personal drama but nothing on that level. In the meantime, lives are falling apart around me.

And more and more just keeps getting dumped on me. I listen and I offer advice and the there there it'll get better, but really that's all I can do.I'm talking to everybody about their problems all the time. And I'm tapped out.

Partly because I have my own stuff to worry about, partly because some of the people are just making the same mistakes time and again, and partly because I'm rarely even getting a "How's things going with you?"

I understand people get focused on the drama they're dealing with but ask me how I am. How's the family, Kristen? How ya doing since the breakup? How you holding up from your grandparents dying? How's the car running? How's work?

Don't make me feel selfish for wanting common courtesy.

I'm being taken for granted and I'm pissed off about it. Friendship is give and take. It hurts when I'm trying to help with other's problems and getting no concern about mine.

Well, that tells me who really cares about me. And so I get homesick so bad it hurts. I miss the people who have always, always, always been there for me just as much as I'm there for them. Y'all know who you are.

I don't have family in Florida. My friends are my family here. And right now, a lot of you have your heads so deep in your own stuff, you don't notice that I may need an ear and a shoulder.

I'm a good friend. I always try to be there for the people I care about, but right now I'm tapped out of sympathy. You made your mess, deal with it.

1 comment:

  1. Good girl! No guilt needed. If you don't take care of you, who will? Well, besides us I mean...