Monday, July 2, 2012

Officially an Adult

I can't get away from it. It's looming on the horizon. Only eight more days until it happens.

I'm turning 35. No more young adult box to check. I'm a grown up.

It's not that I mind getting older. Better than the alternative. It's just there's no more fallback to being young and carefree.

Planning for the future is expected and necesary. I worry that I don't have a 401K plan. I dread lacking insurance. Bits of my body will always crack and creak from this time on. If I want to have babies (which I don't) there is now a time limit on my girly parts.

Not to mention that despite a close call in my younger days, I'll be 35 and never married. I'm a spinster. I'm an old maid. I'm the crazy aunt who never got hitched. I'm a few cats away from being the cat lady.

There is a time frame that exists in most people's heads. By 25, I'll be out of college. By 30, I'll be married. By 35, my life will be organized and mostly settled. At 40, midlife crisis time to renew my youth. By 50, the kids should be out of the house. By 60, sweet retirement and bingo.

That plan only exists in dreamland now.

I have a decent job which I enjoy. I rent out half a house with a friend. I have a car that's somehow still surviving. I live nowhere near any family. I have some good friends and some phenomenal friends. I paint badly. I blog. I read.

It's not a bad life at all. But it isn't where I expected to be.

 As a shameless romantic that I am, mainly I'm missing the someone to build a life with. I want that. I want the someone to bring me the thermometer when I don't feel well. I want the kiss goodnight. I want the simple everyday togetherness. Watching tv with my head in his lap. Random cuddling. Making lunches for the both of us. Planning the trip to visit the family. Someone to worry with and love with and trust with.

Well, I ain't dead yet. Hope shall live on. Maybe I don't get to have that life, but just maybe I do.


  1. On the upside, since you don't want to give birth that means you never have to settle just because you're worried about the biological clock!
    I'm 40 in two years. I think I'm looking forward to it, even though I'll have a four year old and will probably still be renting!

  2. Hey, Uncle Mark took forever to get married and have kids. There's hope. :)

    But trust me, I know all these feelings. and I'm two years two months and two days older. :P