Wednesday, May 1, 2013

And then my dad walked in (ADULTS ONLY)

My boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. Mom was at work. Brother off at college. Dad at a computer fair. So one thing led to another and we were "Having fun" in the living room.

On this particular occasion, having fun included a "massaging device". You get the picture.  If you don't then you are too young to be reading this anyway.

So there I was on the couch in a skirt and nothing else and there he was mostly clothed and busy.

Rattle went the doorknob.
"No!" came out of our mouths in unision.

I ran to the bathroom. He zipped and straightened up and tossed the "massaging device" under the couch.

I tried to think. I didn't know what was seen. I splashed water on my hair and threw a towel around myself and tried to play it off. I walked back out to the living room and grabbed my clothes off the couch.

"Hey, Dad! You got back early. Hey, sweetie. I'm just gonna change and then I'll be ready. Sorry about the wait." said I blushing furiously.

My guy was sitting on the couch, his face bright red. My dad in the armchair, face hidden behind a newspaper.

I changed into fresh clothes and went back out to the living room. I sat beside my guy on the couch.
He looked at me and mouthed silently "It's under the couch."

Well, no quick escape then. We had to retrieve the "massaging device" before my parents found it.

He moved to sit on the floor as did I to block some of the view. My dad was just sitting reading the paper and smiling.

"So Dad, no new computer this time?" I said, trying to divert his attention while my guy was trying to grab the wayward device.

"Nope. Not this time." he said and continued reading.

All of a sudden, I hear buzzing. Loud buzzing. He almost had it and it turned on while it was against the wood frame of the couch. He got it and shut it off and shoved it in his jacket pocket. He just looks terrified.

At this point we are both three shades of tomato red and are praying he doesn't ask what that sound was.

Time to make an escape.

"Ok, Dad. We're supposed to meet up with some friends at the pool hall. I won't be home for dinner but I'll be back by curfew. Ok?" I spat out quickly while standing up and grabbing my jacket.

My father put down the paper and looked at us. Just looked at us.

"Ok?"I asked.

"Well, that must have been very embarrassing for both of you." said my dad. And then he started laughing.
"Be home by curfew."

My dad is awesome.

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