Thursday, September 13, 2012

Trials and Tribulations

What can you do?

More importantly, what should you do?

I've finally learned enough that I know you can't change other people. All you can do is decide how to deal with them.

Sometimes, it's worth the fight. Sometimes, it's not.

I can't make anyone decide that I'm a good person. There will always be those who I rub the wrong way. There will always be someone that on a fundamental level I just can't agree with on anything.

On the other hand, you have those few precious people who you instantly click with and know in the course of one conversation that you will always be close from that day forward. Kindred spirits. People of like minds.

I have many faults and flaws. When I'm overwhelmed with stuff, I hide out from the world. When I am busy, I tend to snap at people. I expect others to be open and put their hearts on the table, because that's how I am. I'm a hugger and a loud talker and some to most times lack a filter. Whatever is in my head just flies out of my mouth. I get scared when someone first tells me they love me.

I like to think I have many good qualities as well. I'm quick to laugh. I love discussing ideas and world views. I'm interested in new things. I try to be there for my friends. I love learning. I have a lovely phone voice. I love deeply. I give second chances even when I shouldn't. I'm very truthful.

One quote that's been haunting me lately is this. "People need love the most when they deserve it the least."

But I can't save people from themselves. I can't be there 100% of the time. I can't make them change. I can't dig them out of depression. If someone doesn't want to hear the truth, I can't make them listen. I can't fix them.

All I can do is accept and love and pray. Other man's burdens are not my burdens. I can only carry so much.

For right now, I'm letting go. Goodbye to the drama and the heartache. Goodbye to the sinking feeling you get when someone you love makes a really bad choice. Goodbye to the lack of trust. Goodbye to the lack of appreciation. Goodbye to despair and pain.

I wish you the best. I truly hope you find your way. I hope God is good to you. I hope life turns around and cuts you a few breaks. I wish you nothing but peace love and happiness. I hope you find what you need to thrive and not simply survive.

I will always care about you. Even if you won't believe it.

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