How I treat those I can't stand

Polite indifference. Nothing makes someone crankier than you not caring at all about them.

Only reply. Never inititate contact. I can be in the same place all day long and not speak to someone until they speak to me. Why would I go out of my way to have a conversation I don't want to have?

DON'T ENGAGE THE ENEMY!

Example:
L: Hi Kristen! How've you been?
Me: Hello. I'm good.
L: Anything new?
Me: Not so much.
L: Well.... I should get something to drink.
Me: Ok.

You'll notice I don't speak more than essential and I NEVER ask questions. I don't care how her life is. I don't want to talk about her day. I smile and only reply and never volunteer more than I have to.

You don't have to be mean to someone you don't like. You can just ignore them. People in general will only try a couple times before they get the feeling you just aren't interested in them or their drama.

"NO" DOES NOT REQUIRE AN EXCUSE
You have every right to say no. You don't need a reason or an excuse. And if someone keeps pushing, just stare at them. They will not ask again.

Occasionally, there will be the pushy person who will not leave you alone. Now this is important.

Repeat after me.
I'm not interested.
Not " Sorry. I'm not interested." What do you have to be sorry about? Why are you apologizing?
Just simply say...
I'm not interested.

It's polite. You don't have to swear or get mad. You're not calling anyone out. It's the truth and it works.

Thank you for ordering the Kristen Anti-Drama Kit. I hope you enjoy some of our other fine products such as How to Be Awesome and Karoke: Not just for good singers.

Why hate?

I don't get the hate people have for those who follow different belief systems. Maybe it's just me that realizes just because someone is on a different path than you, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're going the wrong way.

Most times people will believe whatever religion they are raised with. It's drummed in that this is right and every other religion is wrong. That's always been my issue with most religions. I can't see God working that way.

Mostly, it annoys me that it now seems to be the norm to castigate christians. I was raised with a baptist mom and a lutheran dad. Discussing church creed and verse meaning at the dinner table was a normal thing for me. Most of the trouble people have with the church is old testament verses. When the new testament arrived, the old rules changed. Jesus managed to put it all in one  commandment, Love your neighbor as yourself. Regardless of anything else.

So when people pull an old verse from Levictus and say "Oh look at this nonsense that they believe." They're only getting a small part of the picture.

Religious persecution is rampant. People will die for their beliefs. I get that. Stand up for what you believe. But I don't understand the people who don't have a religion or belief system of their own promoting hate against others who do.

I have nothing but love for my friends who consider themselves christian, jewish, muslim, buddhist, or wiccan. I love my friends who are agnostic and haven't made up their minds. I even love my friends who are atheists although I really have a hard time with that belief.

I believe in God. Wholeheartedly. Noone on this earth can convince me that God isn't real. I've heard the voice.(That story can be told at a later time.) I also believe in love. Choosing love over hate is how I try to live my life.

Hate destroys. That is it's only goal. Why would someone choose that?

Everyone gets angry. Anger is a part of being human. I'm angry when I get treated badly. I'm angry when someone hurts someone I care about. I'm angry that so much is wrong with the world and I don't know how to help. But that's just anger. Hate is thicker and much more poisonous.

I choose not to hate. We are all flawed people looking for a way to get by and live life the best way we know how. Hate just makes it harder for everyone.

I don't care what your race is. I don't care what your religion is. I don't care who you vote for. I don't care how much you make. I don't judge you based on that. I care about how you treat those around you.

Thank you for reading.

Follow your Dream!

I had this (drunk but still managing to be charming and cute) guy at karoake tell me I was an amazing singer and that I should be on tv and selling records. I said thanks. He then proceeded to elaborate that I should be chasing my dream and not to let fear and self doubt slow me down. I tried to explain to him that singing isn't my dream. That I'm happy with what I do and what I have now.

He didn't believe me. He rambled on that the only reason I wasn't singing professionally was because I was too scared to try.

I tried to explain to him that I know exactly how good of a voice I have but it's not that fantastic. I can put over a song I know and love fairly well but my range isn't the best and my stage presence isn't that good. I've smoked for too long for my voice ever to be a real quality instrument.

He tried to get me to promise to get a vocal coach and start auditioning.

I started getting annoyed.

I enjoy singing. I have fun with it. I'm pretty good and I do like the applause. It's not my dream. Never has been.

It took me years to get really comfortable on stage. And auditions are awful. I tense and my voice goes higher than it should and I get extremely aware of every move I make.

I sing at home at, work while running the machines, and I karoake.

Singing to me is fun but it's too damn hard to make a real go of it if you have the ambition it takes to get noticed. rying to sing for a living means constant auditions for plays and bands and hours each day with vocal exercises. It's hard and demanding and not very rewarding unless you get lucky.

That is not the life that I want. I don't want to turn my fun into work. If I don't enjoy what I sing, I don't sing it well. I try to pick songs that I'm feeling and sing out my emotions. Take the strife and heartache and good times wrap it in a tune and get it outta myself.

Why do people assume they know what you really want? I know what I want. I'm living the life I want. If I wasn't I'd be trying for something else.

My dream is to work at a job I find fulfilling. To be able to pay my bills and set a little to the side. To be able to spend time with friends and family. I wouldn't mind someone to share it all with. But I am content with my own company.

When I get older and closing in on retirement, I want to run my own little B&B.

They are small dreams but that's all I need to be happy.

I love big dreamers. I admire their passion and devotion. But that just isn't me. Ambition for material things never has been a goal for me.

Go forth and dream your dream and live it as best you can. Don't tell me my dream isn't good enough for me. It's mine and I am fiercely protective of it.

Tapped out

This morning I had a little meltdown. I was so fed up and irritated I started bawling. Thank goodness, I didn't have work today. Why? Let me explain.

I have friends with problems right now. Serious issues like where is the next paycheck coming from? How can I keep my ex out of my life? How do I get through the day without punching the boss? That kind of thing. Add in illness and car issues and family drama and relationship issues sprinkled liberally throughout.

It's at the point where I feel guilty for my stuff not being so bad right now. Yes of course I still have personal drama but nothing on that level. In the meantime, lives are falling apart around me.

And more and more just keeps getting dumped on me. I listen and I offer advice and the there there it'll get better, but really that's all I can do.I'm talking to everybody about their problems all the time. And I'm tapped out.

Partly because I have my own stuff to worry about, partly because some of the people are just making the same mistakes time and again, and partly because I'm rarely even getting a "How's things going with you?"

I understand people get focused on the drama they're dealing with but ask me how I am. How's the family, Kristen? How ya doing since the breakup? How you holding up from your grandparents dying? How's the car running? How's work?

Don't make me feel selfish for wanting common courtesy.

I'm being taken for granted and I'm pissed off about it. Friendship is give and take. It hurts when I'm trying to help with other's problems and getting no concern about mine.

Well, that tells me who really cares about me. And so I get homesick so bad it hurts. I miss the people who have always, always, always been there for me just as much as I'm there for them. Y'all know who you are.

I don't have family in Florida. My friends are my family here. And right now, a lot of you have your heads so deep in your own stuff, you don't notice that I may need an ear and a shoulder.

I'm a good friend. I always try to be there for the people I care about, but right now I'm tapped out of sympathy. You made your mess, deal with it.

I choose Happy

Finally, I'm starting to feel more like me. I'm ready to be social again. I want to be active and play.

How can I properly explain the spirit lifting? The weight of grief and uncertainty are loosening their hold and my naturally bubbly personality is on the rise. What's left is nagging doubt that can't compete with my natural inclination to be happy.

I'm determined to be happy. Happy is the choice I'm making. Even when I was depressed and confused and griefstricken, I chose to think positive. Otherwise it would've been a whole lot worse.

I'm choosing to let go of my grief. I'm choosing to be part of the world again. I'm choosing to go forth and sing. And I'm happy about my choices.

I've never understood why happy is abhorrent to some people. Ick. Ugh. Too fricking happy. Happy doesn't equate to dumb. It always annoys me when I'm being happy and goofy that people assume I'm dumb. My intelligence is something I've always had confidence in. I'm a smart cookie. Optimism is GOOD! Negativitity is the enemy. The worse you think it is, the worse it will be. Optimistic doesn't mean I don't see the world for what it is. I just think it's getting better.

Don't worry. Be Happy. Word to Bobby McFerrin.

Proud of my Gays

I have a lot of gay, bisexual, and transgender people in my life. Mostly, because I take them as they are. I even extremely briefly dated a guy who later got the chop. Who cares?

Why do we care what happens in the bedroom? You love who you love.  Love is not a bad thing. Kind of the opposite in fact. I wish there was more of it.

The main opponents of gayness tend to be religious. There are an extraordinary amount of rules and regs lined out in the bible. But where it mentions homosexuality is in the Old Testament. When Jesus came he made a new covenant with the church. The only commandment we have to follow is his. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Gaybashing isn't loving. He also told us not to judge. He who is without sin should cast the first stone.

Jesus hung out with the worst of the worst and he never judged them. He took them as they were and tried to show them through example and story how to live.

If Jesus is your excuse for hate, then you missed the whole point.

I love my gays. The have courage to be themselves and risk judgement. They stand up for what they believe in. And they love musicals like me :)

Horror

I know. I know. I've been slacking on the blogging. Drama and fun have kept me from it. So let me write about something simple and fun.

Horror movies. Love them or hate them. They're here to stay. As you may guess, my favorites are the ones based on a true story. Since I've had my own paranormal experiences, I tend to be blah on the ones that aren't. I tend to like older ones since they're more about the story than the visual effects.

Quick cuts and swipes bug out my eyes and I don't enjoy them. Special effects are amazing nowadays but I want to get a good look at them not just a random screaming creepy face that disappears in a second.

My favorites are definitely horror comedies. I adore Shaun of the Dead.(I'm reading Simon Pegg's autobiography now.Worth a read.) I can't get enough Bruce Campbell in whatever goofy horror movie he's playing in. The blood and gore don't faze me in the slightest. Maybe the reason I like the horror comedies so much is because it reminds us there is always something funny, even when getting chased by zombies.

I am easily startled but not easily scared.  I'll jump but not scream. Nightmare on Elm Street, I watched as a kid while living on Elm St. The movie has fun but not scary to me. The only part that creeped me out was the kids singing while jumping rope at the end. (1,2 Freddie's coming for you, 3,4 better lock your door...)

Psychological thrillers I tend to steer clear of. I cannot make myself sit through Silence of The Lambs. I'm not sure what it is but on 3 separate occasions, I've gotten fifteen minutes in and got up and walked out of the room.

I don't enjoy being scared and I'm not sure why others do. For instance, I was in Salem, MA during Halloween with my friend Jenn McClendon. We went to a few different haunted houses, the kind where people jump out at you. I laughed my way through them while Jenn left fingernail marks all up and down my arms. And going to them was her idea.

I prefer the originals to the remakes most of the time. Amityville is a good one to compare new and old. The old one has more story and better slow buildup. The new one is full of quick cuts and half seen monsters that were nowhere to be found in the original.

What's your favorite horror flick?