Monday, March 5, 2012

Journal Entry - Karoake/what do I want to do with my life

I sit in a bar alone but surrounded by people I know. People are laughing, showing off pictures of loved ones and drinking away various sorrows. I get up and sing my song curtseying automatically at the end of it. Not caring if applause comes or not. Faking a smile fore the happy crowd.

I go back to my table and take another swig of my drink. Maybe that will give me a real smile.
I light up a cigarette and just watch the people. My mother walks in. Within minutes, she asks me what I'm going to do with my life. I shrug her off with an "I don't know" and a promise to go back to school. Find a career.

A career. I don't care what I do. I don't mind physical work. You sweat, you bleed, and you go to bed blissfully tired at the end of every day. Too tired to worry. But I love mentally challenging jobs too. Find the answer, find new ways, better ideas. Out with the old, in with the new. I enjoy helping people. Notwithstanding my mood tonight. I talk, I chat, I inquire, I help, I give advice, I take advice and I listen.

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