Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Oranges are Evil

Ok, y'all. Ready for a rant?
Too bad if you aren't.

I hate oranges. The smell of them turns my stomach. I have to fight the urge to vomit when I'm near them.

Yes, I am fully aware of the irony of living in Florida.

So why when I make it so incredibly clear to all who know me that I hate them with a passion do people insist on eating them right next to me? It's just flat out rude.

I got a custom license plate just so I wouldn't advertise oranges. Mine goes to support hospice.

Then I have people who claim but it's not an orange, it's a mandarin.

Mandarin oranges are in fact ORANGES!!!! Tangelos and tangerines are included in the nasty evilness of being oranges.

I have a car rule that no oranges or orange juice will ever be transported in my vehicle.
If it spills or splits I'd throw up while driving.

Do NOT eat an orange around me. Do NOT ask me to pick you up orange juice. Do NOT tell me I'll get scurvy or a vitamin C deficeincy.

Pulpy nasty fuit of the devil.

Thank you for your time.


  1. I am eating an orange right now while reading your blog. Hahahaha I think I will have another...