Sunday, March 4, 2012


"A man must be strong for you to respect him, but weak so you will  love him. And love makes a choice." from On a Clear Day You Can See Forever.

It seems a fair amount of my friends are Fixers. They want to fix the problems with their men. He has no money, I'll share. He has no job, that's okay, I can support us. He has no friends, I'm his friend. He has no drive, he just hasn't spent enough time around me yet. He's messed up from a past relationship, he just needs a good girl like me.

They try to supply all the wants and needs of their lover with nothing asked in return. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe you should support your love. But he should support you in return.

You can never expect people to change. Rather you SHOULD never expect people to change. If they don't have to ,they won't. Hardship is required to learn and to grow and mature.

For example, I worked with this dumb lady. She had three teenagers in the house and not one of them had ever cooked their own meal or cleaned their own room, or done their own laundry. She was complaining she wasn't keeping up. I shut her down with a quickness. I was cooking for the family from fifth grade on. I know how to change a flat, hang a picture, cook a meal, and balance my checkbook. My parents taught me. They didn't coddle me. They realized it was their job to teach me so I could survive on my own.

I have limited patience for those who never chose to learn. I'll teach them but I'm not doing it for them. The next time it's all on them.

So it makes me crazy when some guys are taken care of and don't return the favor. That is not a partnership. They put themselves in a child's role rather than a partner role.

I don't want kids. I sure as hell don't want to date them.

Now and then, stuff happens. We all know that. Sometimes things go wrong and you have to retreat back to home with  the parents. In this economy it's understandable. But be a grown up. Find that work, save that money, make it on your own. Don't be lazy. Anything worth getting is worth working for.

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