Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I Do Enjoy Being A Girl

I enjoy being a girl. I love wearing skirts and flowers and bows. I love having breasts and hips and a longer life span. Except those 3 days a month.

The red tide, the curse, Aunt Flo visiting, period. Whatever you call it, menstraution sucks.   The day before my period starts when I'm insanely hormonal and make not great decisions because of it. The first day it starts  I need chocolate as much as air and I cry at stupid songs playing on the radio. The second day when I have a constant back ache and snap at the people unlucky enough to be around.

And we can't talk about it around the menfolk. Well I say, there are more of us than there are of them. We bleed, we cramp, we clot. We have to buy products like pantiliners and pads and tampons. We hurt and get cranky. We feel greasy and gross and get oily skin.

And we go through this every month between puberty until menopause. Years of suffering and period panties. (You know you keep the old nasty ones for that time of the month too.) I started bleeding at the age of nine.

It's almost enough to make a girl get pregnant. Maybe Michelle Duggar has it right. One day of pain every nine months rather than every month. Nah. I could never change that many diapers.

And so I will suffer on until I dry up into menopause. Hopefully my mom is right and it'll happen early for me.

And I know someone will ask so I'll answer now. No, it's not that time of the month right now.


  1. can't talk about it around the menfolk?!?!?!?
    first of all when was that rule put in place and second why hasn't somone passed it on to the 200+ women I work with!?!?!

  2. Most men get skeeved out about the whole issue.
    That being said, I'm perfectly at peace with just being left alone sometimes - and all I have to say is "girl stuff". The best part is I could mean mascara and be telling the complete truth, but people assume it's my period and back off! YAY!!!!