Thursday, February 16, 2012

Valentine's Day DIsappointment

Valentine's Day day sucked. I was tired and not feeling well and just trying to make it through the day. Just trying to get home and relax before heading out for the night and more specifically to wait and see how disappointed I was going to be.

This guy I've been dating... Well, dating is kind of a strong word for it since we don't meet anywhere besides this one bar for karaoke but since it's been off and on and off and on for 3 years,dating will have to do. Why I'm wasting my time with him will be a discussion for another blog. Let's just say for the moment that I care and he disappoints.

Before I head to the bar I was in such a bad mood already that I'm hoped he'll piss me off quickly so I can just go home and sleep. He spots me before I'm out of the car and comes walking over with a woebegone expression on his face. I see him and am already rehearsing my lines in my head. "It's ok, honey. I didn't really need flowers or anything. My allergies were acting up anyways."  Yup. Already prepping to forgive him rather than just walking away.

He's starts off "I'm so sorry. Work has been slow and I just had enough money for some beer and smokes and that's all. I'm sorry." I go to hug him and say"It's ok." and he backed away and started laughing. For one split second I assumed he was amused that I would take more crap from him. Then he laughed and said" I can't even keep this up. Come see what I got you!"

He gave me a card, a box of chocolates, a little heart shaped balloon on a stick, and a box of the sweetheart candies. This was momentous.

He made an effort. Just for me. Because he cares. It's the first time that's happened. 3 years of talk and no actions to back it up has suddenly turned romantic. I'm happy yet scared at the same time.

So I'm disappointed. In myself for not believing things actually have been changing between us for the better. For expecting him to fail. For not believing in the romance of the day.

I was wrong. And I'm awfully glad I was.

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